Chat: Laundry comes in many forms

By SAVANNAH CUNNICK

Laundry comes in several forms. It can be literally washing your clothes....or it can be the illegal dirty laundering....or it can be blabbing on Face Book about your personal laundry.

When it comes to my personal washing and drying of my family's laundry, there is one event (out of many) that comes to mind. I forgot to check my five-year-old's jean pockets for foreign objects. I mean, this was the ultimate boo-boo. His pet FROG went not only through the washing machine...but ALSO the dryer !! Dear Lord, talk about one big gooey mess...that was it ! I definitely learned my lesson about pocket checking ! I don't mind the small change that rattles around in the dryer... as it's not often I get PAID for doing the laundry!

Once Aunt Martha found an Obama dollar bill...it's worth nothing and was stamped: Thank you sucker!! She also washes her red with white laundry....thus Uncle Festus has a lot of PINK underwear in his dresser drawer...! His basic worry about wearing pink undies
is what if he is in an accident and is taken to the hospital where they are bound to see his PINK briefs...!

Of course, the saga of the MISSING SOCK goes on forever! Aunt Patsy thinks there's a place in heaven where all the missing socks go and join the missing sunglasses and car keys. (She could be right !)

I can even imagine back in the very early biblical days when Adam says: Eve, that's not a salad...it's my dirty laundry !!

Shrinkage is also a laundry problem. I've had some of my sweaters come out of the dryer that could only fit a Barbie Doll ! And of course, they had to be my
favorite ones !

My neighbor just got a divorce...her husband was coming by to pick up his things. She said: Good..I just finished your laundry...the ashes are in the fireplace !!

Have you ever noticed that folding your laundry with your cat is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.

I happen to love the 17 seconds when the laundry is all caught up....Wouldn't it be nice to open the dryer and your clothes are already folded ...!

It would also be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out WRINKLE FREE and 3 SIZES SMALLER !!

Moving on to the next Laundry topic: Airing your Personal Laundry in public...mostly on Face Book . If you enjoy people all up your business, that's up to you. Some folks speak so much dirty laundry...it's difficult to know whether to offer them toilet paper or a breath mint. Those who you gossip with will gossip about you.

The way I see it: Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden. Never tell your problems to anyone. 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. Have you ever noticed that if you really NEED your Face Book buddy...their number is no longer in service ?

Yep...just keep on airing your laundry one post at a time....I understand that sometimes we really need to talk to someone about things that bother you or things you need help with...it's reasonably close to oxygen on the gotta have it scale...but just be careful WHO you confide in.

The next form of Laundering is: A Dirty trade for Clean Profits. Making dirty (illegal) money appear clean (legal). Any movement of illegally obtained money thru the financial system is considered MONEY LAUNDERING. Money is siphoned out of a victim's account and deposited into a fraudulent account.

Presently there is a LOCAL scam going on where several of our county's bank customers have had hundreds of dollars taken out of their bank accounts. The fraudsters are based in Florida and have come up with a way of capturing account numbers and passwords off of credit cards and bank debit cards. They withdraw amounts just under $100 per transaction. It happened to JD and I twice...! We had to go into our bank...sign fraud vouchers...have our debit cards cut up..and wait for the stolen money to be reimbursed into our checking account. On that particular day...twenty folks came into our bank for the same problem. Talk about inconvenience !! The nerve of these fraudulent idiots to pick on simple folks who live pay check to pay check....What the heck is going on? And this is small change compared to the REAL world of dirty laundry.

Want to hear some more? There is Insurance scams, wire fraud, tax evasion, counterfeiting, embezzlement, drug trafficking,illegal gambling and the list goes on. At least 300 billion dollars has been laundered each year in the United States. Ever wonder where the 3 trillion went just weeks before Obama left office? OOOOPS!! Money is laundered (cleaned) before depositing it in the bank by running it through a number of legitimate businesses before it is deposited.

Plus, there are banks owned by money Launderers and criminals who can move funds through banks without fear of investigation. These guys can purchase real estate with money obtained illegally and then sell the property. Bingo...off the hook and on to the next scam.

One crook said to another: If we get caught...I'm deaf and you don't speak English.

Recently, a Dry Cleaner was indicted for money laundering. My niece Cindy asked me: If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? (Read this article, my dear.)

There is even a Beginner's Guide to Money Laundering offered on the Internet. Must be next to the How to Make A Bomb ad.

Well, my friends....we have discussed laundering clothing, airing our personal laundry and money laundering.

I enjoyed writing this and discussing it with ALL of you, Continue enjoying our mild winter weather...smile...love your family, pets and friends...and tune in next week for another CHAT!

MANY HUGS, SAVANNAH